So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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