i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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