also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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