The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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