I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
