I smell stomach acid.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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