i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
