I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
