I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
