Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
