I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
