And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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