Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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