im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize