It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Randomize
