This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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