I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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