if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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