i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
