i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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