well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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