Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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