we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
