Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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