sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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