I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
