I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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