So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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