I puked a lego.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
