Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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