Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
