Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
