"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
