He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
