My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize