I could have mohawked her pubes.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize