gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
