so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Enjoy the penises
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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