Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
