My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
