Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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