he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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