Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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