Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
