i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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