I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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