PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
