Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
