Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
