What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He felt like a one man threesome
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
