talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
