their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
