Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
