When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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