hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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