I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
