nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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