I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
