Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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