He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
